JEFF RATH ON FEAR-MONGERING
The Train to Nowhere
The whistle is screaming, the steam’s blowing hot,
As Jeff steers a train that the country forgot.
In his ten-gallon hat and his barrister robes,
He’s charting a course for the strangest of globes.
“We’re leaving!” he bellows, with Mitch in the back,
As the rails start to crumble and fall off the track.
“But Canada, wait! Before we depart,
Give us pensions and passports—have a heart!”
They’re waving to Quebec, asking, “How’d you do that?
“While the map of the nation goes totally flat.
“If we break it, we own it!” is the separatist cry,
As the “Annexation” sign looms in the sky.
It’s a bold legal theory, a real “parasite” play,
To burn down the house but expect it to stay.
The engine is chugging toward a deep, rocky pit,
While Jeff shouts, “Objection! We haven’t quite quit!”